Warm. Radiant. Beautiful.Agent K: You know the most destructive thing in the world?
Agent J: ... Sugar?
Agent K: Regret.
Hi, for the record, I can hear you and it's your fault you didn't lock the damn bathroom stall, bitch
*Le me opens the bathroom stall*
Bitch #1: "Hey I'm still using this!"
Me: "Oh, sorry" *closes the door*
Bitch #2: *from the other stall* "What's wrong, bitch?"
Bitch #1: "Someone just busted into my stall"
Bitch #2: "Whoaa like whaat?"
Bitch #1: "Yeah she didn't knock."
Bitch #2: "Well, you didn't lock."
Bitch #1: "But she didn't knock!"
Me: "...."
Derek: I love you and you love me. And whatever happens, I don't care. I don't want to know. I mean it. I don't want to know.
Meredith: Well the lab already has my blood so..
Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?
Meredith: Okay.
Derek: Okay!
You still have all of me.
Him: Hey I was wondering
Her: What?
Him: What if we stopped being like this? If we even stopped contact each other?
Her: ... Well, how would you feel?
Him: I'm asking you
Her: Do you even want to?
Him: Don't worry I'm just asking
Her: ... I'd be sad. It'd be tough.
Him: Would it be that sad?
Her: Yeah.
(Silence, Realize - Colbie Caillat playing)
Him: (hugs her, cries)
Soon Only Middle-Aged Gay Men Will Love Lady Gaga
Old man to teenagers dancing in line ahead of him: What are you kids listening to? Looks like fun!
Teenage boy, aggressively: We're dancing to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." You don't know her.
Old man: I love her! I'm seeing her concert at Radio City Music Hall!
(teenagers stare, speechless)
I totally laughed reading this. Got it on New York Nights 2.
Tourist: Excuse me, but can you tell me where the apple is?
Police officer: What?
Tourist: You know, the big one?
